So I've decided it's time for this kitty to really buckle down - if I have any intention of becomming anything on here, I really need to put the effort forward, yes?

So I'm over-hauling just a tad, going to attempt a three-post weekly limit for myself, as well as linking to a few things that would make me appear more professional in my eyes. Eh. Maybe it's a hopeless cause, maybe not ^^ who knows right?

So - on that note, what is going on in the world of Omega? Well, since my split with Reikhard, things have been...less than savoury for me. I was lost, confused, trying to figure out what went wrong, where *I* went wrong, am I really the submissive I think I am or am I just fooling myself?

While trying to figure this out I have distanced myself - trying to approach lovers from my past, not for any ill intentions of course, but for answers.

This has created quite the journey for me, as, a past relationship offers a promising future. We'll call this person, Alpha...as that what he truly is, the Alpha to my Omega. Will Omega return to masters of her past?

Maybe. It's a bit too soon to tell.

I know what I want in my life, and I know I have yet to find it, I am still young however, and know there is still time. I recently came upon a good friend of mines blog about how she viewed her relationship with her Master, This post is located [ h e r e ] This is very much how I view what my own future might hold, although we never can tell with these things can we?

For now....I am enjoying recreating a past that I thought was forever gone. So I hope you enjoy my future adventures with Alpha. I know I will :). <3.

So long time no post here...I suppose I should explain myself a little bit. My master/rabbit and I split due to personal differences. He was asking things of me I could not, would not, give...I am too submissive to ever ask him to change, too dominant to ever be willing to change that much for him.

The point of the matter is, I was scared, he began to speak of things he wanted to do - that I was not into, at all, that I told him I wasn't. He refused to listen. Things I have phobias of that he wanted to take advantage of. He spoke of hurting me, and not caring that I did not, would not like it.

This isn't submission. This is abuse. I do not tolerate that and maybe, just maybe, that makes me a bad submissive, maybe I am not really submissive. I'm not sure.

I'm trying to find myself, my center. I am spending some time by myself, enjoying me, trying to figure out exactly what it is in this life that I want or need.

I blame myself for this failed relationship mostly because I led him to believe I was entirely willing, when it was very obvious, that I couldn't be. It has made me afraid to ever attempt to give myself to someone else again...

Maybe all I've ever thought about myself is a lie.

I just pray I find my way.