So long time no post here...I suppose I should explain myself a little bit. My master/rabbit and I split due to personal differences. He was asking things of me I could not, would not, give...I am too submissive to ever ask him to change, too dominant to ever be willing to change that much for him.

The point of the matter is, I was scared, he began to speak of things he wanted to do - that I was not into, at all, that I told him I wasn't. He refused to listen. Things I have phobias of that he wanted to take advantage of. He spoke of hurting me, and not caring that I did not, would not like it.

This isn't submission. This is abuse. I do not tolerate that and maybe, just maybe, that makes me a bad submissive, maybe I am not really submissive. I'm not sure.

I'm trying to find myself, my center. I am spending some time by myself, enjoying me, trying to figure out exactly what it is in this life that I want or need.

I blame myself for this failed relationship mostly because I led him to believe I was entirely willing, when it was very obvious, that I couldn't be. It has made me afraid to ever attempt to give myself to someone else again...

Maybe all I've ever thought about myself is a lie.

I just pray I find my way.